


Dahlia

by artsmsh



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 01:39:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4687550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsmsh/pseuds/artsmsh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am not the best at telling stories but my life was a mess, I was a mess but then god must have given me a chance or something because this freckled boy came into my life. He took my hands and pulled me up on my own two feet again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dahlia

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like it //screaming internally

It was the night before the new semester.

I was pacing circles in my floor grumbling and trying really hard to figure out what I was going to wear. Jesus I am not a woman, it should not be this hard. Although it would be the first time in two months three weeks and five days since the last time another human being other than the ones who live in my house have seen me. So I just want to look sexy as hell and make people gawk over me like I am the sexist man alive, which I am. Don't judge me alright.

After about half an hour of sifting through my stuff I had a huge pile of cloths all over my room and an outfit picked out for the next day. I ended up picking out tattered grey pants and a shirt with space cats on it.

Shortly afterwards my mother called me down for dinner. She had made spaghetti and meatballs again. I take the food without a word and head back to my room.

After taking the stairs two at a time I run across the hall landing and to my room and shut the door almost all the way, leaving enough space for my cats to come in and out so they wouldn't scatch the hell out of my door because fuck leaving my bed.

I had trouble sleeping that night like always. I kept tossing and turning and morning was slow to come but sleep eventually took me.

My alarm shrilled in my ears at 7 A.M. Groaning, I rolled over in my duvet to hit the snooze button on my night stand.

It was a quarter to eight and my alarm had gone off three more times before I finally got up.

I took my time between taking a shower and getting dressed. After that I quietly went downstairs, avoiding all the creaky spots, hoping not to wake anyone up. Walking into the kitchen I turned the lights on and move towards the fridge. I grab a leftover slice of pizza from the night before. I heard a creak from the floor boards. Shit moms up. I quickly grabbed my shoulder bag and stuff the pizza in my mouth as I ran to the door. Just as I am about to open the door, I hear it. "Jean honey, why didn't you wake me? I was going to take pictures for your first day back to school" mom said. She is at the top of the stairs in her pajamas looking down at me. She walked down the stairs and passes me into the kitchen. I reluctantly let go of the door handle. She came back with a camera in hand. Chowing down the last of my pizza I gave her a look of annoyance. Then proceeded to give her a excessively loud and long groan. I rolled my eyes and told her "Mom I am twenty years old not five. First day of school photos are meant for kindergartners not for college students. I thought we were done with these stupid things after high school."

I didn't win that argument. I never win, which is why I ended up standing outside of my house blinded from all the flashes. I wish I could have just left right then. Mom ended up trying to get me to smile "Sweetie you are suppose to smile" I just glare at her and she finally gave up.

I started walking over to my car that is parked on the street. It's a Mustang hehe...not the Mustang I wanted. No, in fact it is a shitty 1992 Mustang. I hate it so much, it is so ugly and it makes me want to gag but at least it drives relatively well.

Trost University is not that far from my house, maybe a fifteen minute drive on a good day depending on traffic.

I pulled into the parking lot. Looking at the time I realized that I was going to be late. I grabbed my bag and started to sprint to class in hopes of not being late. By the time I got there my lungs were burning and I was heaving. I bent over grabbing my knees with my hands.

When my heart stopped hammering in my chest and my breathing had calmed down a bit I entered the classroom.

The first thing I noticed was that the Professor was not there. Thank God for that. Who wants to be late on the first day?... Pff like I cared that I was late, naw I am too cool for that. Looking around the classroom there were a bunch of fancy computers. I found an empty seat towards the back of the room. I took it. I set my bag down and looked over to my left. There was a bald kid and this chick with mousy brown hair. By the sound of it, sounded like they were playing Pokémon. They didn't even notice me sitting down, rude.

The Professor walked in a few minutes after I had. She I mean they introduced themselves as Professor Hanji Zoe and wished to only be addressed with the pronounce they/them. I thought it was strange they seemed to be a girl and I had never really run into anyone like that before but whatever they can do whatever the fuck they want. 

A syllabus was handed to us. I quickly scanned over it and realized this class was going to be a cakewalk. Professor Hanji talked so much about it and animatedly too, kind of weirded me out how one could be so excited over a syllabus. I had a feeling that was not the only weird thing about Professor Hanji.

The two next to me kept whispering to each other in hushed tones so the Professor would not hear them. I just stared holes into the sides of their heads until they noticed me and stopped talking. I then drew my attention back to the Professor.

They ended up talking for forty minutes over this stupid syllabus and since it was the first day they ended up releasing us early.

I was heading towards the door trying to sneak out so no one would notice me but I was soon stopped by none other than the chick who had been sitting next to me. She was blocking my path and she actually talked to me, "Hi I'm Sasha and bald one over there is Connie" she points towards him. Looking back at me she asks "We are going to the game room want to join us?" I just stare at her thinking about why she was even asking me this, she does not even know me and seemed to ignore me earlier so why on earth was she talking to me not only that but asking me to hang out. I must have taken to look thinking because her she started to frown and so I finally spoke up "Uh... Sure, I guess."

The bald one walked up next to her and said "My name's Connie" I tell them that my name is Jean.

The three of us walked out of class together. I mostly stayed quiet as we walked to the student lounge area. They were talking about their game anyways.

We entered the gaming area in the student lounge building a little while later. It was filled with comfy couches, flat screen TV's, game systems, the whole shabang. The placed seemed a little too nerdy for my taste.

Sasha introduced me to this room full of strangers, not like she was any less a stranger. I had only met her an hour ago.

She put a hand on my shoulder and I tried to shake it off but she didn't notice.

"Guys we found a sexy one, his name is Jean"

Pointing from left to right she goes in order.n"That's Annie, she kicks ass at combat" She nodded at me and continues her game. "The other blond girl standing next to the girl with freckles is Krista and Ymir." The angry looking freckled chick give me a deadpan "Touch my girlfriend and I will be the one ordering your gravestone." I gave a weak nod and Sasha whispers in my ear "She isn't kidding" I whisper back to her "I believe you." Sasha started again "And lastly the one on the couch is Marco" he gives me a warm smile and waved at me. I smiled and waved back.

Sasha stopped talking and introductions were made I then went over and sat next to Connie on one of the couches. We started to play one of those two person fighter games, I can't remember which one it was. It was actually kind of fun. Pretty soon I got really into it and after a few rounds of destroying Connie I played against Annie.

Sasha laughed when I lost to Annie the third time in a row. She came over and said "I told you she would kick your ass"  
"Shut up" I grumbled.  
Ryner took the controller from me.  
"Hey" I shout.  
He smirked at me "This game is only for winners"

I lost track of time.

My mind was so hyped about being around other people. A tingling feeling swelled in my chest as I looked around the room with all these new faces. All potential friends. Today was turning out to be more than okay then I thought it would be..

Sasha looked over the couch behind us and shouts "Hey Eren."

I swear my neck had never turned so fast to look at the door.

"Hey Sash" Eren tells her.

Our eyes met. His smile drops. I look away.

Time stops. The world around me feels as though it falls away. One by one, the walls fall the reveal darkness. It is just me sitting on this couch in the dark, frozen. What am I suppose to do? Do I run? The fear started creeping at the edges of my vision. My hands balled into fists and my back tensed. As I stared out at the darkness. A dark shadowy figure comes to stand in front of me. Everything about this is a shadow except lime green. I stare harder at the green trying to understand what it. The colors hurt my eyes. 

My vision starts clearing finally and I notice shoes, lime green shoes. I look up finally and see Jeager. His shoes are almost toe to toe with mine. Staring down at me he spoke "Hey there sweet cheeks."

I cannot bare to look at him so I stare at the floor. The anger I had been trying to suppress for so long started boiling over. Just like when you leave a tea kettle on the stove too long. Hot and steamy, and if you dare to touch it you will burn. Well I have been burned, and god does it hurt.

"Aren't you going to say something Kirchtein?"

I just stared at his shoes and say nothing. I have a feeling everyone in the room was looking at us but I don't care. Not like they know me, they did don't know. Maybe they didn't even notice the excange going on.

"Why are you suddenly so quiet now hmm?"

I did not respond but god I wanted to beat the shit out of him right about now. The next thing out of Eren's mouth brings the whole room to an audible gasp.

He makes a tsh sound and scoffed "You seemed louder in bed."

You know what, forget what I said about touching a hot kettle of water. He might as well have poured the whole kettle of boiling hot water over my head. That went too far.

My eyes flew up to meet his. My skin was on fire and I shouted the top of my lungs "Leave me alone!" but it came out as a barely audible whisper.

A voice from somewhere in the room shouted "Stop messing with him" Eren's gaze went from mine to theirs. It was as if a curse had been lifted. My legs work again. I don't give the time of day to look at who ever is saving me because I am half way out of the door.

I bolted out of their. Running by a sea of faces, some were staring at me, but honestly I don't give a fuck. I need air now, my lungs were burning. I reached the outside doors and ran to the grass practically falling in a heap on my hands and knees. I could feel the dirt and grass under my fingers. Just breath I thought to myself. Taking a few lungfuls of air start to clear the haze that is at the border of my vision. It is not enough to cool down the heat that boils my skin.

I heard foot steps reaching over to stand near me. "Hey... Uh.. it's Jean right?" its the same voice from earlier.

I looked up at him. There are a constellations of freckles on his face splattered all over his face. He was the guy Sasha called Marco I think.

"What" I spat at him.

His face falls just a little. He spoke again "I am sorry for what happened back there" pointing his thumb over his shoulder towards the door and his eyes followed as well then looks back at me sympathetically.

I sit on my knees instead of on all fours looking ridiculous, which I am already to late for that.

"It wasn't your fault" I said.

"I know that, but I just wanted to make sure that you were alright"

"I'm peachy" I lie, but he doesn't look convinced.

He stands there considering for a moment.  
"I didn't get the chance to properly introduce myself. I am Marco. Would you like to go on a walk with me?"  
I just blink up at him, shocked that he would first come out to make sure if a stranger was alright and second to go fucking walk with them. Is Marco really a nice guy or does he have some shit ploy to fuck my day up some more. My curiosity wins though.

Weakly I said "I guess."

He then reached down to take my hands and pull me to my feet. We started walking. Nether of us spoke at first but the silence was not awkward like listening to Sasha and Connie earlier. My breathing had calmed down considerably before he spoke. Looking over at me he asked "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Was my short and simple reply.

I just feel the ground gasping for air and this guy thinks I want to talk about it. Fucking ridiculous. Don't think about it, don't. Breath. Breath...

Marco had stopped in front of me "Jean are you alright?."

I scowled at him but I am not really seeing him. He waited for me to say something. I finally say "I have class. I guess I will see you later."

I did have class later.  
I did not go to class later.  
I did what I always do in this situation.  
I hide.

Coming in through the front door my mother asked how class was and why I was back so early I did not answer. I just went straight to my room and locked the door and shut the world out.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first multi chapter fic, I am kind of nervous because I am a bit of a slow writer. Also I am not the best with words and if I spell things wrong I am not sure I apologize for that. If you guys like it or suggestions please leave a comment down below. I really want to know what you think.


End file.
